“Karate-water” Chicken

There are three types of drunks in this world:

1. Happy Drunks,

2. Sleepy Drunks,

3. And those suffering from dronkverdriet.

There is another drunk though, the drunk that most of us believe we will never become (and happily can deny it the next day anyway). This is the aggressive drunk. We’ve all seen them, after copious amounts of their favorite tipple, these people think that have suddenly developed some mad ninja skills, which they set out to demonstrate on anyone they can safely reach without spilling whats left of their drink!

And the number one cause of this? No, it’s not roid-rage as most of us would expect. Its our local version of the classic brandy and coke. This drink seems innocent enough, at times even somewhat refined, but when the brandy in question is Klipdrift (known locally as “Klippies”), what you have in your hand is a concentrated glass of “Karate-water” or more simply, the key to unlocking everyone’s inner fighter. Even sensible men have succumbed to this little cup of ninja juice.

For the record, I don’t drink Klippies and coke. I drink beer! however, I had a small epiphany the other day! I have for a while known about the miracle that is a beer-bird, basically a whole chicken cooked on the braai, with an open can of beer inside the cavity. To anyone who hasn’t tried this, don’t knock it. It really works. And yes when I say insert a can of beer into the chicken, if you are using your imagination, you are probably right.

I have a serious problem with this though, and that is that I can’t handle losing a good beer to the chicken. But what about a can of coke? I don’t feel the same attachment to a can of coke! And surely if a beer can keep the chicken nice and moist while being cooked, the sugar from a coke would not only keep it moist, but would also give it a bit of a sweetness right? But what if it wasn’t just a normal coke, what if the coke also had some brandy in it. Basically what would happen if I replaced the beer with a can of “karate-water”?

The ingredients

The recipe itself was quite easy:

Take one whole chicken, hopefully with all the giblets removed by someone else, washed and dried.

Make a simple rub for the chicken, I used olive oil, crushed garlic, salt and pepper. Rub this vigorously into the skin of the chicken, as well as into the cavity of the chicken.

Open the can of coke, take a couple of sips, and top up with “Klippies”.

Make sure your braai is on its way to 200 degrees celsius. Push the can into the cavity of the chicken, open side of the can pointing towards the neck of the chicken. And then get it onto the braai, standing up, using the base of the can to hold it up right.

Guess where the can is!

I use a specially made stand for this, simply to make it a bit easier and more stable. I also placed the whole chicken on top of a disposable foil baking tray, just to make the cleaning up a little easier.

Place in the centre of your braai, and use the indirect method of heating  (I have a 3 burner gas braai, so I leave the middle burner off, and place the chicken above this one). I found if I had the remaining two burners set to their minimum power, I could maintain a steady temperature of just over 200C.

I recommend cooking for at least an hour, before checking to see if the bird is cooked. The LIB, who had the day off, had a novel way of seeing if it was properly cooked, and that was simply to see if the “juices run clean”, basically when cut into, the juices leaving the chicken are see through, and there are no signs of blood.

An hour later, and it was ready to go!

Remove the can from the chicken, carve the bird, and you are ready to go!

A little piece of advice though, try not to look at the can afterwards, it looks pretty grim! A little bit scary to think that’s what comes out of a chicken while it is being cooked.

Okay I confess, the brandy and coke recipe didn’t really do anything different to the chicken, it was nice and moist, and the skin was perfectly crispy, but there was no noticeable change in the flavour that I was hoping I’d get from the brandy and coke. But if you don’t try, you’ll never know.

Happy to report as well, that the brandy and coke does not seem to have the same effect when eaten, as when drunk.

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